Emotional Intelligence: An Unexpected Look

The more people I talk to, the more stories I hear, and the more faces I study, the more I am struck by how resilient we are as humans. People who come to my speaking engagements are typically people who work hard and seek truth; they desire to find meaning and strength and purpose in life. I have noticed a common yet peculiar trait among many of these people, particularly those who have experienced great pain and challenge and have overcome obstacles larger than they imagined: Most of these people do not look like what they have been through.

They don’t typically have frown lines, even when life has given them cause for consternation. The rigorous toll that life has taken on them has instead, in many cases, left them with laugh lines and with eyes with great expression and knowledge.

In the mirror recently I noticed that my beard has grayed significantly just in recent months. I was talking to a colleague about this, lamenting that I had not started coloring my beard before anyone noticed the gray. She said, “Clifford, you have earned that gray. It suits you.” I am not sure yet if I’m comfortable with that, because I still see myself as a much younger than my age indicates. But I realize it could be a lot worse: I do not look like all that I have been through, and for that I am grateful.

Clifford A. Bailey